Flash Fiction - False Advertising

Flash Fiction - "False Advertising" by DC Juris

"Put your load here." I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing as I looked at the ad for my lover's newest modeling gig. "It's um…"

"It's awful!" Ken wailed. "I knew it was a moving company, but I had no idea that's the verbiage they were going to use."

"It's not all that bad. You look sexy," I offered.

"I look like a douche! Put your load here? For God's sake!" He buried his face in his hands and moaned. "This is awful. I'm never going to live this down. I can hear them now. Hey Ken, got a load for ya!"

I stared down at the ad, an idea forming. "Is this your only copy?"

He shook his head, still hiding his face. "I have dozens. Everyone has dozens. It's everywhere!"

I headed to the kitchen, fished in the drawer under the microwave and grabbed out the scissors. I cut off the top of the paper, licked the back generously, and stuck it to my forehead. I looked up at it over the rim of my glasses. Hopefully it would stay. I unbuttoned my shirt, shrugged it off, and slid off my jeans, strutted back into the living room in just my boxers and socks. "It does have its uses."

Ken looked up at me and burst into laughter.

I moved the paper to my chest, held it just above my belly. "Or how about here?"

He beckoned me over and I knelt between his legs, slid my hands up his thighs.

"I love you," he murmured before he pressed his lips to mine.





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