Blurb:
When Keenan's lover, Naro, reveals the deep, dark secret of his past, Keenan must decide how strong their love really is. But Keenan has a secret of his own—one that's right up Naro's alley.
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"My father wanted a boy. He took me to a powerful charmer when I was four and I was placed in a sort of cocoon. A year later, I emerged as a boy."
"Resexing?" Something Keenan had heard of, though he'd never met anyone who had actually undergone the procedure. From his understanding, resexing was an elaborate process, often painful and quite costly. "Wouldn't it have been easier just to have another child?"
"My mother had already lost three boys and given birth to two girls. By the time I came along, my father was obsessed."
Which explained why Naro hated—no, feared—small spaces. "That's what you meant about small spaces when we first met, isn't it? You were awake the entire time?"
He nodded. "There was sleep, of course. Or not sleep, rather, but…there were periods of time when I wasn't conscious. Though I don't know if those were natural or controlled by the charmer."
Keenan ran his hand through Naro's spiky hair, trying to imagine the fear and confusion Naro surely must've felt. What had it been like, being forced to submit to such a thing? Waking up to find that all the rules had changed, leaving home as a girl, and returning as a boy. And after so many years. "Four years seems a bit long for them to make up their minds."
"Father had to convince mother." Naro toyed with Keenan's chest hair. "And there was the issue of coin."
"Ah." At least Naro's mother had put up some resistance. "It must've been hard for you. I'm sorry you had to go through that." He frowned at his words, wondering if they sounded as flat to Naro's ears as they did to his own. He had no idea what to say, really. Nothing in the world would change his mind about Naro—no buried secret could erase the beauty of Naro's heart, the warmth of his soul, the sharpness of his mind and clever wit, all of which had kept Keenan enthralled since the moment they'd met.
"It wasn't all bad." Naro shrugged, though Keenan wondered how much nonchalance he truly felt. Silence rose between them. Naro continued to fidget and Keenan remained uncertain whether he should resume his attentions yet or not. On the one hand, going on might make him seem dismissive, but on the other, might Naro interpret Keenan not going on with him as not wanting to go on?
Keenan contented himself with simply running his hand up and down Naro's arm, and he took the fact Naro didn't pull away as a good sign. In Keenan's mind, there was no deeper expression of emotional love than the physical act of making love, and the frustration of the interruption gnawed at him. Still, if Naro needed this explanation between them, Naro would have it.
"You're taking this well," Naro whispered. "I didn't expect that anyone would."
Keenan arched an eyebrow. "Didn't Magistrate Varlan?" They rarely spoke of Naro's deceased lover, mostly because Keenan hated him. Varlan had represented everything Keenan hated about people of power. And Naro had been in love with Varlan. All the more reason to despise Varlan.
"I never told him. The only people who know are the people I grew up with. The ones who remember, anyhow. I've never told anyone until now."
Keenan swallowed down the lump of emotion that filled his throat. Only him. Not Varlan. "I'm honored."
"Does it bother you?"
To be continued...
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