I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, not the least of which is gender. Specifically, my gender. I made a comment on a post in a group the other day, and someone asked me "Are you a man or a woman?" because my gender marker doesn't show on FB (or at least, it's not supposed to - who knows FB from one minute to the next). I asked them why it mattered, and they said they "needed to know." I then asked, "Why? Is it going to change what you think of my answer? Does what's between my legs determine if you'll agree with me or not, or take me seriously or not? Do my genitals validate or invalidate me or my beliefs, opinions, and arguments?" To which they answered "No, of course not!" So I was still left with the "Why?"
Why must I
label myself for the comfort of others? Why can't I be judged on what I
bring to the table instead? Not just in writing, but in life.
Why can't I be judged on the fact that I overtip, or I talk to the
homeless guy who hangs out around my college, or that I have a million
phobias but I'm fearless when someone tells me "you can't" or "you
shouldn't," or the fact that I write hot smut, or the fact that I'm
passionate about a lot of things, or that I'm loyal, or that I type 96
words a minute and I'll turn in a 22 page report when the requirement is
only 5-7 pages?
Why can't I be judged on these things? These
are my merits, after all. These are the things I can influence on a
daily basis. These are the things I can either fail at or triumph at.
These are the measures of my worth. Not my anatomy. My anatomy is a
random happenstance of genes - it's nothing I did or earned.
Which is why... I think... So, the other day, I went and had my haircut.
The hairdresser referred to me as "she" and "female" and you know what?
I really didn't give a shit. And I started to wonder...why had I ever?
Yes, I'm absolutely masculine. I'm absolutely male.
But what does that mean, really? Does it mean I'm automatically more
worthy of something? Less worthy? Smarter? Stronger? Stupider? Weaker?
It means absolutely nothing. Nothing.
I'm me. I don't have to be male. I don't have to be female. I just have to be awesome.