Friday, May 17, 2013

Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia

In honor of 

I've blogged before about my experiences with homophobia and transphobia. Today, I want to blog about my experiences with acceptance. 

I've recently started attending meetings of a local organization called Safe Zone, which is a GLBTQ youth group. At first, being there seemed very surreal and odd. I've never been in a room made up completely of people who either accepted that I was queer or didn't really care one way or another. 

I've spent my life being a chameleon of sorts - always trying to figure out how to act around which people. Trying to determine if I could be myself, or if that specific person just couldn't "handle" my being queer and trans. 

Being surrounded by people who could most definitely "handle" my being queer and trans has been a life changing experience. I no longer look at the world in a mindset of "how can I change myself to fit what you need." I now look at the world in a mindset of "you're not trying to change for me, why should I try to change for you?"

I'm queer and trans. And I'm FABULOUS. I don't need to change myself to make anyone else more comfortable.

It's organizations like Safe Zone, in my opinion, that will be the catalyst for change in the coming years. As queer people find hope and belonging within these groups, their individual lives will be impacted, and they will, in turn, change the lives of people around them. 

I've always said the best argument we can make for equality is showing that we are equal - living our lives to the best of our abilities, with the best of intentions, and giving 100% whenever we can. 

If you can help, you should. If you can and you don't, you're part of the problem.

For my prize today, I'm offering up a free pdf copy of the reader's choice of any one of my books. I'm also including a swag pack, including magnets, a calendar, and a gay pride rainbow flag, signed by yours truly!

To enter to win, just leave a comment below and please be sure to include your e-mail address.


****PLEASE BE AWARE: I write GLBTQ romance. GLBTQ stands for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer. This means my works feature same sex relationships AND same sex sexual acts. If winning a prize from that kind of a blog isn't your cup of tea, kindly pass on to the next blog in the hop and leave the spot open for someone else. Thank you.****



  1. "I've always said the best argument we can make for equality is showing that we are equal - living our lives to the best of our abilities, with the best of intentions, and giving 100% whenever we can. "

    I couldn't have said it any better. Thanks so much for the giveaway!!

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I have done a lot of the same things you have done. Deciding who I can be myself around and doing what I can so that at all costs certain people won't know that I am gay. But with the recent events I have taken part in, the point is quickly becoming moot. As I asked a straight friend, "Why is it all right that straight people can show Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) and those same straight people thinks there is something wrong when I do it?" I told her, "You didn't choose to be straight and I sure as hell didn't choose to be gay deal with it." But in saying that I realize there are going to be people that can't or won't "deal with it". Life is way too short for you, myself, and the many other variations of the LGBT community to not enjoy themselves and live their lives the way they want to regardless of what some people in society thinks

  4. The more the world sees that all relationships are equal, that we all have the same issues, paying the mortgage, walking the dog in the rain, sitting in traffic, the less scared people will become of relationships that look different from theirs.
    We are all chameleons to an extent, but no one should have to be scared to be who they are.

    jennysmum2000 at yahoo dot co dot uk

  5. Thank you for taking part in the hop!

  6. thank you so much for sharing your experiences! after years of therapy i have learned the ONLY person you can be is yourself no matter what others think

  7. As one of the organizers of the HAHAT, I want to thank you so much for participating. I hope one day questioning equality won't be a question at all. We can only hope, right?


  8. There are many of us who accept everyone. I am so glad you pointed that out.
    debby236 at gmail dot com

  9. Thank you for the chance and being apart of a wonderful hop!!


  10. Thanks for your generous participation in this hop. We have a lot to learn; we need people like you to help banish ignorance. Thanks again!

  11. Thank you for your great post. Thanks also for participating in the blog hop!

    awindandbooks at gmail dot com

  12. I am not a member of your quiltbag but I am a supporter of your right to be. There is little I can do physically or financially but I do sign petitions and voice my opinion. Hope that helps.

  13. Thanks for the insights - maybe someday I will find my place too...

    leo.v.s at aol dot com

  14. I am a reader of all genre and I have to say that I have grown - personally - the most by being open to reading the LGBTQ genre. So thank you for having the ability and guts to write your stories. Thanks for the support in this hop.

  15. That was an awesome post. That you for talking about such an important topic. I think that you are right about the importance of those organizations. They will promote real change.
    I would also love to be included in the giveaway. Thanks.


  16. You say: " I no longer look at the world in a mindset of "how can I change myself to fit what you need." I now look at the world in a mindset of "you're not trying to change for me, why should I try to change for you?" "
    I'm asexual and I've been trying to change for over 30 years until I "woke up" like you to that very simple fact: if the world is doing nothing to make me feel welcome, why should I bother? Why should I be the only one trying to adjust and fit YOUR mold?
    So, here we are, free to be ourselves. Hoping the hatred that permeates the world eventually goes away...
    creativebarbwire at gmail dot com

  17. Organizations that do this kind of work are truly wonderful. They make a real difference every day. Thank you so much for sharing you wonderful post and participating in this amazing hop!

  18. Thanks for writing books for EVERYONE!

  19. I enjoyed your post and have most of your books!!!

  20. Thanks for a great post and hop.

  21. What's that saying? If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.I really believe that. Standing by and doing nothing when there's something to be done is just as bad.

  22. Thanks for participating in this great hop :)


  23. It's nice to hear stories of acceptance and success. Thanks so much for sharing and participating!


  24. Thank you for the post.

    peggy1984 at live dot com

  25. Thank you for taking part in the hop!
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

  26. I'm the "bad girl" on my street for giving a girl a very involved kiss. If he didn't want to see it, he very well could have stopped staring at us. I figured that was his problem.

    And for the weird random that is my mind, I just realized I might very well make it to the ST: First Contact date below.

    selbarton @ gmail. com