An Old Poem of Mine

So, I was cleaning out and looking for other stuff, and I came across a bunch of my poetry. Most of it is that paltry teenage stuff that seems so meaningful and moving when we write it, but is just sappy crap when we're 29. But this one, I read and was like, "Huh. Wow. That's interesting." So, here it is. I have no idea when I wrote it or what I wrote it for. Maybe it was a quasi-coming out poem??? It didn't have a title on the page so I'll just go with Untitled. 

Untitled

Stirred expectations drain the cup of myself dry,

and pour out a grog of unachieved dreams

for everyone to see.

The passion that once empowered me, exalted,

is squeezed from my hold

to illuminate the sleeping beast inside me,

hiding from the lights, keeping

still, as a wise sheep

spotted by the hungry wolf.

I should stay downwind

of him, crafty, wicked thing.

I have a lot to say really,

but only the cold silent night to

listen as the words pour

from me like a river,

wishing that by some miracle

the saying could simply make them so.

Make myself a moon and sky

of my own, separate.

I could shriek with joy and delight.

Sprinkle bright crystalline

over pursed, red lips,

longing to kiss the milk

and honey of life, like

vodka, it makes me giddy.

I could carry the sun

all the way to where ever I chose. 

Possibly uplift the fire inside it,

set the fields of life ablaze,

laughing happily as

the wind blows outside me,

but I myself shall never feel its soft tread.

Have you had your dessert today? 

With your soft loins you fire my life

to walk in a wonderland,

unafraid to face the plans

of myself and what I'd like to do. 

Your mouth warm on mine,

angels sing, and I forget

what brought me here. 

The piles of unfinished worries,

the things under my bed

that go bump in the night

and dash about around me in a starry

spectacle of shaken wits with no rhyme or reason.

And before the night and "us" are over,

I can't recall the stirred expectations,

as you carry me away

to somewhere over the earth

where I can close my eyes

and let the world go black

and no longer have to hide

my want behind myself.